I'm not sure where to begin today because I seem to have so much going through my scattered mind. I usually just start writing and see what comes out....
My boys decided to scratch up our brand new dining room table today. There's even a nice little J scratched into it right where my precious Joe sits. What was he thinking? He doesn't seem to mind getting into trouble lately. Is he craving attention from Tony and I? I am busier than ever with Stella and I seem to worry most about Anthony being stuck in the middle (the peanut butter, between two slices of bread, my sister would call it.) Meanwhile, Joe starts school again and is gone most of the day. He's also at that funny age where they want independence but deep down they want their mama just as much! Needless to say, dad and I were very upset about the table and they are grounded from just about everything for the week. I'm not sure if that will be harder on them or me!?!
All of that being said, there are so many worse things in life than a scratched table! So many!
Monday, August 19, 2013
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Mom or Micah
I feel like I have so much on my mind that I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll write about being a stay-at-home mom.
Staying home is something that I never thought I would do. It was a transition that did not come easily to me and I still have days that I wonder if its what I should be doing. I feel so horribly guilty when I actually say that, but it is the truth. More and more I am accepting my role and feeling very blessed to be able to spend time with my kids the way that I do.
My husband and I were completely different people when we made the decision to keep me at home. We had so much to learn still and a lot of growing up to do. As I think about the last 6 years and the roller coaster of depression and anxiety that I have dealt with while staying home, I can't help but wonder why. Why has staying home with my kids brought so much emotional stress upon me?
As I'm writing this I realize that it has nothing to do with my kids or with being home all day. I think the issue for me is a title. As I look back on my life I was always busy and I always had some sort of title. Whether it was Sunday School Teacher, class president or service trainer I was defined by what I was doing or what I was achieving. I'm in a place right now where I am learning to enjoy life and love the everyday without having to accomplish anything or be called anything other than mom or Micah. It's tough because deep down I want a big title, I want recognition and accomplishment, but I believe, for whatever reason EverydayMom is the title God wants me to have and to love, at least for now.
What is that defines you? What is your title?
Staying home is something that I never thought I would do. It was a transition that did not come easily to me and I still have days that I wonder if its what I should be doing. I feel so horribly guilty when I actually say that, but it is the truth. More and more I am accepting my role and feeling very blessed to be able to spend time with my kids the way that I do.
My husband and I were completely different people when we made the decision to keep me at home. We had so much to learn still and a lot of growing up to do. As I think about the last 6 years and the roller coaster of depression and anxiety that I have dealt with while staying home, I can't help but wonder why. Why has staying home with my kids brought so much emotional stress upon me?
As I'm writing this I realize that it has nothing to do with my kids or with being home all day. I think the issue for me is a title. As I look back on my life I was always busy and I always had some sort of title. Whether it was Sunday School Teacher, class president or service trainer I was defined by what I was doing or what I was achieving. I'm in a place right now where I am learning to enjoy life and love the everyday without having to accomplish anything or be called anything other than mom or Micah. It's tough because deep down I want a big title, I want recognition and accomplishment, but I believe, for whatever reason EverydayMom is the title God wants me to have and to love, at least for now.
What is that defines you? What is your title?
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Explosion
I've been thinking of starting a blog for awhile now. I have no true intention with it, but I do have a goal of being more of an open book in my everyday life and I'm thinking maybe this can help. I have so many thoughts go through my head in a day and very rarely do I let most of them out. Sometimes I feel like an explosion waiting to happen. That may sound negative, but remember, explosions are sometimes intended for good. Like tearing down an old wreck of a building in order to start fresh or sending fireworks into the air to celebrate freedom...explosions aren't always bad!
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